Neil's Great North Run Blog

Sense of satisfaction

2008-10-08T14:39:00.000-07:00

Google really should make a mobile version of their blogger website - it takes forever for this to load here in my shack over GPRS. It's eating into my sleep time!

I'm back now in Sea Palling after the weekend's Great North Run exploits. I'd only been away four nights, but the spiders and woodlice had taken over. I'm starting to feel very comfortable here now, since there shouldn't be anyone coming in at the weekends for a while, so I'm making it a bit more my own. I also have a really good gas heater now, courtesy of Rick, the kindly husband of one of my new colleagues, Louise. I'm starting to feel confident that I could make it through the winter months.

Anyway, the run was a lot harder than I had thought it was going to be. As you may have noted, I'd only done one run of more than two hours in training, and I think that may have been a bit of a miscalculation. I wasn't very far away from being fit enough to do the run at my 'race pace' (just under seven minutes per kilometre) but I really needed more stamina. I ended up crumbling a bit in the final hour of my two hour forty minute effort. I even walked a couple of times, but only when I was taking on water/Lucozade.

The people of Shields gave an excellent account of themselves, having taken the time to prepare orange segments, handfuls of sweets and my favourite, ice pops. I wouldn't have pulled myself through it without their goodwill, and also without the occassional sight of someone doing marginally worse than me.

There were some people, running for Childline, whose t-shirts stated that they were 'going the extra mile'. Sod that.

I don't think that the half marathon is really my distance. It goes beyond running and into endurance territory. It's all well and good for the eight stone superfit athletes, but for me, still 14 stone, it's just a bit too much.

I have a 10k run coming up in Great Yarmouth this month, and I am actually looking forward to that as being something well within my comfort zone. I don't intend to let my ability to run around non-stop for an hour or so to slip - I intend to take up some kind of sport, preferably non-contact, and not squash.

I have been experimented upon

2008-09-28T11:56:00.000-07:00

I should have told you - if only sportstracker hadn't broken down, last Sunday I managed a 2 hour 15 minute run, on very hilly terrain. I think you can piece together the run from the following sportstracker outputs:

This was a monster run, roughly 9 or 10 miles. It was slow because of the very hilly nature of the terrain. After this, I have to be prepared for the distance of the Great North Run, which is now only a week away.

I have managed only one run in the intervening week - an inadvisable 40 minute run at dusk in Sea Palling.

Just to nail my colours to the mast, I am aiming for 2 hours 20 in the Great North Run. I am prepared to accept 2 25, but 2 30 would be a bit disappointing. Please donate now to make me push myself beyond the limit! Although not past the limit that where good people die.

I've just come back from another long drive, this time to Newcastle to have my mass, volume, composition, breathing, efficiency, and anaerobic threshold measured, all in the name of science.

I have lost just under a stone, with all of this being fat. My body fat is still horrendous, but lower now, at 37.9% from 41.2%. I now know that by rights my body consumes 1600kcal/day, so I have a target and a reason to count the calories.

The point at which I stop burning fat and begin to primarily burn carbs (anaerobic threshold, in terms that I understand it) has increased from a heart rate of 86 to a heart rate of 139. This means that I now almost only burn fat when I exercise, and this was by no means the case at the beginning.

I have almost tripled the amount of O2 I can consume before this point is reached, and yet my heart is still actually beating at the same rate, meaning that it has simply increased in size. The whole heart/lung complex is bigger than it was, with my lung capacity having gone from 89 to 103 (no idea what these units are though). Just sitting down for two hours, I burnt 20% more calories than I did 20 weeks ago. I am a machine!

I have never been fitter than this. I still need to lose two and a half stone though before I can begin to think about being vain.

You do realise I'm living in a shack don't you?

2008-09-21T05:21:00.000-07:00

Every night before I retire, I sweep my bed for woodlice. There are always more in there by the time I wake up. When I get myself out of bed, I check my slippers for poisonous spiders. This is not a response to a threat that is based in reality however. I do this because I was scarred as adolescent by a TV reconstruction of someone being bitten to death by an arachnid that hid in their slipper.

Spiders and insects are everywhere in my wooden construction, chalet-style, midweek arrangement in Sea Palling, in the North East of Norfolk. You can't really get too worked up about it. Every morning I get spider's web in my face as I walk through the front door. A ladybird stayed in the same place, on the side of the sink, staring menacingly at my flannel, for two days.

While it is great to hear the sea, and see the stars, you have to be outside to do that. The rest of the time, it's just a bit lonely and small. This week coming I intend to do more reading, and less listening to the radio. I think I must have heard every bit of Radio 4's output over the past week, twice in many instances.

It has been exciting to have somewhere new to run though. Viz the route of my long (one hour) midweek run from this week below. This was a really difficult run at times, as the terrain was threatening to the ankles, and the blackberries by the side of the road were tempting me to stop and gorge.

I've also had a go at running along the beach in the morning before work. Running on the beach is very difficult. At one point I went from running on sand to running up a very steep ramp, and the ramp was actually something of a relief. The Chariots of Fire factor is very high though, and it makes for a good looking route.

According to my training diary, I should be doing a 100-120 minute run today. This fills me with some trepidation.

Work has been interesting. I've been to a different building every day, so it's been hard to get a true idea of what it's going to be like. Next week there is a caseload allocation meeting, and it seems as though I'm going to be getting a bunch of cases assigned to me there. I hope that I don't end up doing community clinics like the rest of them. I have been employed as someone to do something different, to work in Sure Start centres in a preventative capacity, to do something about early interaction, to work with families before the need for a referral arises. I don't want to lose sight of that.

I have some beautiful bits of Norfolk to investigate, and I'm trying to take advantage of this while I still have some sunlight after work. This week I had a look at:

Horsey Mill

Happisburgh Church.

Uproot

2008-09-14T14:43:00.000-07:00

I've entered a rather bizarre phase in my life, one I've seen coming for a while. My nearly two month summer break has drawn to an end - it was like being a school child again - and I'm starting back at work tomorrow. It's just that work is 150 country miles away from my home, where I've left Ian holding the fort, and the cat, for the working week.

So I am in a peaceful holiday home in Sea Palling, which is Norfolk's closest beach resort, and feeling a little apprehensive about my first day's actual work as a fully fledged speech therapist tomorow in Great Yarmouth.

I can see the stars here, even though it's a full moon. In a couple of weeks time it's going to be stunning out there. No light pollution, no sound pollution. No telly or wifi, just radio 4 and the faint buzzing of a fridge. I might turn the fridge off when I take my beer out of it. What a racket!

I am uptodate with my training schedule. I remember right at the beginning of all this, when I could barely manage 10 minutes running, my friend Ricky pointed to the 14th of September's '100 minute, easy run` as a particularly unachievable target. Well, Ricky, I did do it - sort of, 60 minutes on the cross trainer, and then 40 minutes on the treadmill directly afterwards. All this and then four hours driving. Surely one or two donations are in order?

Thank you to Liz for doing just that! She states that she'll be doing the Great Eastern Run the week after the Greaet North Run. I hope she's not planning on doing both - that would be ridiculous.

Great Yorkshire Run Report

2008-09-08T12:35:00.000-07:00

This blog is becoming somewhat straight ahead for my liking, and post-titles like the one above are not helping. Do you agree that this blog is entirely lacking in political backbone?

Should I denounce America / Britian / Israel for training Georgians to murder Ossetian civilians in their beds a month ago, and go on to denounce our media for reporting the whole thing backwards, with Georgian tanks being called Russian tanks (see TurgotReis' comment responding to a still somewhat unbalanced Guardian article here), Russia being called the warmongerer, and so on?

Now I'm no Russophile. They're all gangsters, and they are all scum. The team of criminals who are supposedly in it for our interests look a lot more evil and stupid at this point in time though. You only have to look at Saakashvili himself: eating his tie, and cowering in the streets to see this.

Since I am unsure whether such an alternative commentary on contemporary events is going to help my ailing sponsorship fund, I will refrain from a full public denunciation. Thank goodness the American citizen (Martin) has already donated!

Back to the sport! I am much inspired by our Olympians! If Rebecca Adlington can do it, and have her parents be interviewed on the local news on a nightly basis for a full week, then so can I! I had a good week of training - two runs and two trips to the gym before my big run in Sheffield on Sunday. Here's what Sportstracker recorded me as doing during the Great Yorkshire Run.

I did the 10k in 1 hour 7 minutes. See my official "splits" here (search for race number 5214). This is by no means fast, but it wasn't dreadful, and it was marginally faster than the pace I took the 5k run at, which is a good thing for sure. Here are some of the people I overtook - a guy from Channel 5's Biggest Roundest Man competition, a man in a women's swimming costume, and an extremely pear-shaped woman...

Ian and I also went to the Vivienne Westwood exhibition up there in Sheffield - loads of clothes, that's for sure. I think I preferred the older stuff that looked like a series of sacks stacked upon one another, although the spangly stuff also caught my eye. I liked this particular one, a man's coat, with the very heroic touch of blood, depicted in red jewels, dripping from the chest and arm.

Although blogging appears to have become a weekly thing...

2008-08-31T12:57:00.000-07:00

I promise you that running isn't. This week, after my long run on Sunday, I have either run or been the the gym every day, except yesterday.

Monday, I couldn't face a 'recovery run', so I went to the gym instead.
Tuesday I was in the gym as well - 35 minutes hard work on the cross trainer, and then the incredible flying machine for 20 minutes, and three sets of ten on three weights machines.
Wednesday, a 45-minute hard run. This was a real killer, as I went at 9.4 km/hour (according to my previously published scatter-chart, I would normally take a 45 minute run at 8.5 km/hour). I knew that chart would come in handy.
Thursday, I couldn't face the weights machines, but I did 40 minutes hard work on the cross trainer.
Friday, a 35-minute gentler run, at 8.7 km/hour.
Saturday, takeaway food, looked around some cool second hand shops on the Mansfield Road, and went to the local borough fair, which featured wonderfully traditional produce-judging what-have-you (I'll get some pictures of the massive leeks digitised soon, I promise).
Today, I wanted to protect my knee, which is now starting to hurt a bit, so instead of 90 minutes on the pavement, I did 90 minutes on the cross trainer at the gym. Since sports tracker would just give me a big blot on a single point of a map, I didn't turn it on, and accordingly I can't prove that I did this today. You'll just have to take my word for it.

Please consider donating to my charity, WaterAid. Just click on the button below to start the ball rolling. I'm doing a 10k run next weekend in Sheffield, and I need encouragement to go over 9.5 sports tracker km/hour! Verbal encouragement is also a great help. Thanks to Becca and all those who have commented here.

In other news, Ian and I have bought a Wii, which is proving to be a fantastic waste of time. My life of leisure is set to end pretty soon though. I'm off to Great Yarmouth tomorrow to prove to my future employers that I don't need the MMR jab, and then I will meet some of the team in Lowestoft. Two weeks 'till I start!

Back on track

2008-08-24T09:45:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting with a beer in our backgarden, typing into a laptop, which is glaring back at me a reflection of myself: still a bit plump despite all these miles I've covered, and requiring a haircut. The next door neighbour is strimming her garden. I did mine yesterday. That is how bloody settled and grown up I am. I mean, I just bought bulbs for a hanging basket for goodness sake!

Our cat is being de-territorized by the neighbour cat, who I have to admit is nicer to stroke and is a bit more friendly (I hope Colin doesn't read this). It's reached the point now where Colin needs to be persuaded to step outside the back door to join us. He is a bundle of squauks and miaows, and very very needy. This may have something to do with me utterly pandering to his every whim. I currently let him wake me up at 5am, whereupon I feed him, falling asleep downstairs until he wakes me up, when I let him outside to perform his ablutions. I will then allow myself to be woken again less than 2 hours later to let him back in again. He sleeps soundly during the day, except on those days where I practise a similar style of sleep torture on him in a futile attempt to teach him a lesson. When I actually start my job, and I'm not around during the week, Ian informs me that Colin will lose all of these privileges.

And to think that when I start work in Children's Centres in Great Yarmouth I'll be part of a team that among other things is trying to improve people's parenting skills, such as learning how to say 'no' to your children.

This week I ran with Ian for the first time, and, notably this was my fastest ever run. I blamed Ian for starting out too quick, but I sustained this pace, and it was obviously a really unfriendly thing to do. He managed to keep with me though, and he even tried to pass me at the end. How dare he!

Then Ian and I joined the council gym scheme, for a one month taster thing, £25 each. This week I've been in twice, once for a swim, and then running on the treadmill for 40-odd minutes at a pretty good pace. I also did some weights, and spent 20 minutes on what my friend Caroline once unforgettably described as my 'incredible flying machine'.

Today's run really does mean that I'm back on track. 81 minutes, slightly faster than last week's long run, over the 10k barrier for the first time (actually over 11k). I feel like I will be more than able to do the Sheffield run in a few weeks time, but not at any kind of pace.

I will also admit here to having nipples, and that they are starting to chafe a bit. I would have bought Vaseline in Poundland today, but I couldn't cope with taking it to the till. Ian suggested that I use his Vaseline lip chapstick, which provided a humourous image.

And as James notes running is pretty dreadful. I stayed up to watch the marathon last night, and those guys were in advanced states of bodily distress. How is that a good thing? I cannot really say a good word for it. Like some kind of junkie, the endorphine high is harder to come by now. I guess in that way I can see how people start to work out harder and harder, although I can't help but think that heroin would be easier.

Milestone run

2008-08-17T13:01:00.000-07:00

Although I didn't manage the '85 minutes, easy pace' that was programmed for today, I did set out this morning to push myself beyond the limit, a la Paula Radcliffe, except without the crying and sneaky roadside poos, and anyway I think I did okay with my 69 minute run - the above-mentioned milestone being, confusingly, the hour-mark.

Feel free to study my imaginative route, which took in a total of 4 parks.

Please see the table below. Please don't ask me to explain why I made this table - what a waste of time.

Aside from running, I can report that Ian and I have had our first visitors here in Notts - Angela and Lisa visited from now-local Lincoln, and we had a bit of a troll around town. We love guests! Robin's coming this weekend.

Tomorrow - 20 minute recovery run

2008-08-14T12:37:00.000-07:00

What on earth is a recovery run? What sort of ailment could a recovery run successfully treat? Today I feel awful, having run myself rather ragged trying to keep up with my schedule, and now that I come to look at said schedule, I find I'm due a 'recovery run' tomorrow. I really don't think running more is going to help.

My phone died half way round my run today. It would be a perfect opportunity to lie and say that I did manage the full 45 minutes, but I didn't at all. I think I went off a bit too fast, 10 minutes in I had a stitch, and 20 minutes in I was feeling really sick. I'm quite a way off pace. Anyway, I'm three weeks away from the Sheffield 10k run, which will probably take me about 80 to 90 minutes running. I'm up to 55, so this is very achievable.

In other news, I have put a picture up in our hall, cooked a few dinners, and spent plenty of time reassuring the cat.

A month

2008-08-10T13:08:00.000-07:00

Fear not, Martin, Glenn and the silent majority, I am still running, although slightly, although slightly less than I ought to, sportsfans.

Instead of presenting here a grinding, all-encompassing narrative, sure to bore you to submission, I will break my descriptions into easy-to-skip chunks, with each detailing one of the three primary excuses I have for not running enough during this period, and with the whole constituting a description of my activities over said interim.

Excuse #1 - job interviews and associated spiral of depression
I am pleased to announce that the cycle of train journey-interview-heartbreaking telephone rejection has come to an end, and not before time - I was starting to get really bitter. No more absurd and contradictory feedback for me, for now I have a job as a speech therapist at the end of the earth [Great Yarmouth].

I never did get to Ricky's the night of my last post - I ended up in Hackney, smoking, not running. Ian and I did find a property in Nottingham, and I did meet up with Paul. The night before my interview we went sea-fishing at his sea-house in Sea Palling, where we stayed before my interview (and where I'll be lodging for my forthcoming working weeks), and I didn't sleep until nearing 3am. Obviously I hadn't been exhausted enough during my previous interviews, and what they were actually looking for was an entirely robotic performance.

I can see now that I was totally dispirited from my seemingly hopeless situation, and the negative feedback I got from North Tyneside, and I blame that for me not going for a run until the 20th, which roughly corresponds with when I found out about the Great Yarmouth job.

Excuse #2 - moving house
Ian's job ended in Middlesborough on the 25th of July, we moved on the 29th, and his new job began on the 6th of August. I tracked 19.7km between the 20th and the 26th of July, so I was doing very well for a while.

We had forgotten how awful moving house is. We ended up taking loads of stuff to the charity shops - I would estimate one and a half Ford Fiestas full. We also have boxes of stuff for ebay, when we get round to it. We'd been in that flat for two and a half years, and we were getting really good at storing things there. We needed a move.

And now me, Ian and Colin are in this amazing house in a slightly debatable part of Nottingham. We have the double edged sword of being obscenely close to a massive Sainsburys. We back on an amazing park where real families come to have fun at the aviary, the sensory garden, the pond and/or the skatepark. We even have the slightly unnecessary added security of backing onto a fire station and the council offices.

We have inherited someone's life. Our landlord - it seems he couldn't afford to live here, in the current climate, and so he's moved to live with his family, leaving his furniture, his telly, his incredible mattress, his lawnmower. He even left his washing powder, and now our clothes smell great. It's like a total life upgrade, and it feels good but weird.

But why, then, has it taken me so long between moving here and going for my first run (7th of August)?

Excuse #3 - manflu
As soon as we starting unpacking, I started to feel ill. I manfully carried on with the work of settling in though, despite aching fingers and a horrible sore throat. It turned into a proper chest infection, and it took a good week to get over. All this and no internet to console me!

I have now done two runs, with today's being my longest and furthest run ever. The schedule, which I've only just looked at, the first time in ages, expected me to do an 80 minute run. I managed a 53.5 minute run, covering nearly 7.5 sportstracker kilometers (roughly 6.8km in reality). Although I'm behind where I should be, I feel as though I'm on target for the 10k run in Sheffield, and I'm now getting back into it. I will go for a run tomorrow. Please sponsor me - I need support to get me back into the regular training schedule.

Another marathon round of interviews

2008-07-11T03:35:00.000-07:00

I've spent a fortune on getting to these interviews over the next three days. I seriously hope I get one of these jobs. Location-wise, none of them are anywhere near perfect (North Tyneside, Walthamstow, Great Yarmouth), indeed getting the Norrth Tyneside job now, after all this time, would be a bit of a kick in the teeth since I'm supposed to move with Ian down to Nottingham in a couple of weeks time.

I had the North Tyneside interview this morning. I felt I did well, but then what would I know, I thought the interview in Newham went well a couple of weeks back, and I obviously didn't get that job.

I'm staying away from home the whole weekend once more, and I'm on the train right now, which is pretty empty, down to London. Ian and I are eyeing up property in Nottingham on Sunday, and then I'm off to see my friend Paul, who has a new baby with his wife Polly, and they'll get me to the Great Yarmouth interview.

I also now have interviews booked in Suffolk and Peterborough. Does anyone need any help with their application forms? I'm clearly pretty good at that and that alone.

I did go for all of my allocated runs so far this week, in case you're checking up on me. I'm due a run tonight in London, all being well I"ll do that once I've settled in at Ricky's.

8 minutes remaining

2008-07-07T14:20:00.000-07:00

That's 8 minutes on the battery of Ian's laptop. I will be brief. Luckily I have next to nothing to say, other than I did go for a run today, as dictated by my running schedule. I ran just under 20 minutes, but GPS broke, so you'll have to take my word for it. Following as it did on from my 48 minute run yesterday, this is the toughest two days I've done yet.

Anyway, that's about it.

Caught in the act

2008-07-06T14:33:00.000-07:00

It seems I found time during the Sunshine "Fun" Run to ogle an unsuspecting spectator, when I should have been concentrating on the joyful act of putting one foot in front of another. Sadly for me, I was 'papped' doing this by the Evening Chronicle, who published this picture (I'm running on the right) on Thursday.

That really is me. I can tell by the much unimproved body shape, and the shoes. Half way down this page is official proof that I finished the run. I actually crossed the line at their 34'58". I made it 34'19", taking off the time it took me to reach the start line.

Really nothing has happened at all this week. I didn't run on Friday, but I did cycle in and out of work, which is utterly exhausting in a totally different way to running. Today, however I surpassed myself with a 48 minute long run up by Gosforth Race Course - a full 14 minutes longer than I've ever run before. I covered only 6.8 Sports-tracker-kilometres, so I was pacing myself very slowly for distance compared with the race on Wednesday.

In job news, I have three interviews coming up. I have booked train tickets to cover much of the country, and I will once again be going to London. Ian and I are hardly ever seeing each other at the moment.

Jogging on water

2008-07-02T14:25:00.000-07:00

I have achieved a milestone! The 5k Sunshine "Fun" Run was very nearly too much for me towards the end, although I did run the whole way, keeping up a very steady pace. Steady, but not especially competitive (11 minute miles). All the same, I finished before some very thin people who were panting horribly, and some very fit people who were really rubbish at pacing themselves. Some obese people did inexplicably overtake me towards the end, and I was finishing alongside someone who was breathing as if she had Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease.

It was pretty cringeworthy. They had some kind of Geordie Mrs Motivator there to get us warmed up. I didn't participate. I always think myself a good team member, but actually, I'm so self conscious and resistant to things like waving ones hands in the air and clapping as if one didn't actually care, that I reckon people probably think of me as one of the awkward ones. If you weren't all doing really sad things though I might deign to join in. I'd thought that the collective warm up would just be lots of people grunting and stretching their calves. Instead it was some kind of Carry on Camping-style affair. Obscene:

After this is was all about the running. This run served as evidence that Nokia Sports Tracker does over-estimate the distance covered by a factor of 10% (it recorded that the 5k run was 5.5k), which was a truly miserable realisation to make as I lumbered towards the ever-distant Millennium Bridge. Here's the route, which apparently has me jogging on water at times:

On the way back to the Metro home, hauling myself up flights of river-steps, I stumbled across All Saint's Church, which I'd only ever seen from a distance before, and barely noticed. The place, which was built on the site of a medieval church in the late 1700s, has been deconsecrated, and the internet tells me two other things: it is elliptical, which is apparently quite rare, and British Sea Power played a gig there last year. Here's my rather dark but rather lovely picture:

As I limped back, I was wondering what kind of takeaway I could spoil myself with. I decided once I came back and had a shower that I couldn't be doing with going out, so I made myself the largest and most comprehensive salad I've made in years. What a way to use my post-exercise 'high'.

For once I'm looking after myself with Ian away (at a conference). I thought today about what's usually different when I'm on my own:

I listen to conspiracy theory radio before I go to sleep
I don't wash up properly
I often buy cake (although not this time)
I drink less tea
I cry all of the time

Well maybe not all the time, but it sure is a bit lonely.

Outage

2008-07-01T12:18:00.000-07:00

I'm sure it wasn't such a good idea, but I did go for a run today, after work (in extreme heat) in order to alleviate some of my guilty feelings. I think some guilty feelings remain, but these have nothing to do with the amount of running I've been doing.

I did my route around Gosforth Park, relatively easily in 15 minutes. I was thinking to myself, would I be able to carry on running for another 30 minutes, and the answer was 'probably not'. I will give it a go tomorrow anyway. It starts at 7:00 pm, and all being well (GPS didn't work today) I will be "livesharing" it on my Sportstracker page, if you want to watch me crawl around a map.

Today has been a busy day. I did two hours at the school, two hours admin, and one hour in the dentist chair. I had three fillings for £40, which doesn't seem too bad to me. I was advised to go to the dental college to get my wisdom tooth extracted, as my dentist doesn't like doing extractions. How can you get to be a dentist, and not like doing extractions? I'm sure she didn't say that at her interview. How do these people get jobs?

Thanks very much to Lisa for the very timely donation. I'm up to 20% now - that is fantastic. Thanks to everyone who has donated, and for those of you who are waiting for me to fail so that you don't have to donate, it seems you're running out of time. Only 90 days of this left. Then I can go back to guilt-free cake.

One final thing - I have now my absolute guarantee of a "VIP" place on the Great North Run. I was sent a little medal to confirm it. They asked me when I filled in the proper application what size t-shirt I wanted. I said medium. Perhaps I was being a bit hopeful there.

Somewhat lax

2008-06-30T14:48:00.000-07:00

I've picked totally the wrong time to go a bit haywire and off calendar, what with the Sunshine "fun" run coming up on Wednesday. I just discovered, coming on here that I was supposed to be running this morning. I feel a bit dreadful about it all. I will run a light run tomorrow, but I don't want to do myself in before Wednesday.

Yes, as Mat noted, I didn't run in London. I feel as though I have somewhat let myself down. I was in a lot of pain though. Inexplicable pain. And I did walk all the way from Hackney to the City, and then around and around - surely more than 6 miles. Here are some extremely artistic pictures I took on my walk that haven't really come out all that well.

The whole purpose of the London visit was going to see Radiohead on Wednesday. I can't say I remember a great deal of it, it being so long after the event now. I have to say I was disappointed by the Radiohead infrastructure: very basic burger vans, champagne with strawberries in it for those who really have no idea who Radiohead are, dreadful carling-sponsored pints of piss and a massive MeanFiddler-style fence. It didn't finish well in the 'No Logo' stakes. Here follows a picture I took of the Radiohead Ice-cream van, which was centrestage, behind the mixing desk.

I was surprised to be invited to a job interview, at the very last minute, in Newham, East London. There were a range of things which I'm sure I shouldn't have said, but I left them smiling, and hopefully believing me that I was sure about what I was saying, and that I wasn't the kind of person who thought he knew everything. This was also the first time that there was a man on the panel. Let's just see shall we.

I also went home to see my family. There I did go for a short run, the route of which is described below.

Among the things I did with my family, I visited my grandmother, who has alzheimer's, and played the Lambeth Walk and Hey Jude on the nursing home's organ for her, and I played 'ants' with my niece. This game involves searching a tree's bark for ants, and then capturing them, and transferring them between one another without damaging them too much. This was a super game that I invented and my niece refined.

The whole sojourn was topped off by a dreadful 7 hour 'Megabus' journey. Whatever the price difference, it wasn't worth it. Horrible.

My next post will be less disappointing, I promise.

Now in grey

2008-06-24T09:07:00.000-07:00

I hope that you like the site redesign. I'm finding it much easier to look at the blog now.

I'm sat on my train, on the way to London, after work, to watch Radiohead tomorrow, to mooch around a bit, and then to go home for the weekend to see my family - something I've not done for a good while. The man opposite me was just offered a sandwich by the woman sat behind me. They didn't know each other. She asked 'do you want a sandwich, checked if he was a vegetarian or not, and then just passed this BLT sandwich over my head. Some people have all the luck.

An awkward moment just occurred between them. She had obviously been staring at him a bit, and he felt forced to ask whether she wanted any of the sandwich. She laughed and said she had her own. But where's mine!

I'm sorry about the number of times I've said 'sandwich' so far in this post. I wasn't expecting this post to go in this direction at all.

I'm pleased to say I went for a run this morning before work. About 22 minutes'-worth. I was exhausted during and after, there didn't seem to be enough rest time between this run and the run before.

I have my running shoes with me, so I will be running in London and in Kent in the next week.

New shoes- feet now hurt differently

2008-06-22T15:33:00.000-07:00

It occurred to me yesterday, when I bought a pair of £95 running trainers and some socks worth £8, that I have spent more on this lark than I have received in donations. Surely that is not right! Please donate!

Here are the shoes I bought from our local running boutique, Northern Runner. There I met a man who had a good look at the way my ankles moved, I was 'diagnosed' as a mild overpronator, and I tried 8 pairs of running shoes on, and ran in their service corridor to try them out. All of this with Ian sitting in the car waiting for me - I didn't realise it was going to take so long.

Here in the end is the pair of shoes I bought, along with the amazing sculpted socks

Today's run was my furthest and longest yet: at 4.6k, I feel quite ready to take on the 5k, which is in 9 days time. Here's my route:

Out of kilter

2008-06-20T13:27:00.000-07:00

I have had my interview-thing in London. If you know me personally you'll probably already have had me complaining to you about the fact that I didn't get the job, and in fact I didn't even get interviewed. The reason I mention that people might not know me personally is that some of the people from the Great North Run condition on the clinical trail that I am a part of now know this url. Show yourselves! Say hi in the comments! Come and do the "Sunshine Run" with me!

I was so very angry about London. They had arranged it perfectly for them - they'd invited some people who were already Speech Therapists (one with 4 years of experience) and they invited interesting sounding people who didn't have the experience, essentially as foils, as wildcards, to make the numbers up during the group session at the beginning. They had no intention of employing us, or even of wasting their time giving us interviews, as the non-experienced of us were all pre-selected out and asked to leave.

Me and another rookie SLT went to a greasy caff together, a l'apprentice, to moan. She actually didn't seem to mind much, as it was her first interview-thing, and she didn't really want the job.

I complained yesterday to their human resources, and tried to get my money back for the travel. It cost me £50 to get there, £8 for a taxi, £8 for transport in London, £70 in lost wages, £15 in meals out, and all I got was a source of true anger, incredible tiredness which ruined a week of work and a week of running, and no experience of an interview process whatsoever with which to work on my interview technique.

I am still livid. The head of the service called me today and explained that they were a small trust and could not afford to pay for my train. I said that they shouldn't invite people for interview without interviewing them, as the message that they would be pre-selecting before interview arrived only after I had bought my tickets, and I would not have come if I had known about their pre-interview system. She responded that that was the interview process, I just failed it. I said that decisions like the one I had about attending this interview involved more than just wanting the job, and that, with the knowledge that experienced SLTs would be there for this entry level post, I knew that I wouldn't get the job anyway. I just wanted some interview experience, and they couldn't even give me that. She didn't have a response, and the conversation ended with me somehow saying 'thank you for calling'. I wish I had just hung up.

The fact is, there was no way I could have passed. She said in my feedback on the day that I should have been more pushy, and I should have given more facts when I spoke. I don't care what she thinks. I know I did as well as I could. The facts that people were coming out with were bullshit. I demonstrated a really natural and caring attitude to the patients we were discussing, and I presented very well. They had no intention of inviting me to interview, unless the SLTs they had there turned out to be objectionable people, which, frankly, they weren't.

If they want someone to 'bounce off' their fucking golden girls, then next time I suggest they go to an agency of some type, and not expect desperate, angry people to pay more than £150 for the privlege. Or look to see where they'll be travelling from. Next interview I am invited to, I will phone up and ask whether they have any intention of employing someone who isn't already working as an SLT. I cannot afford to carry on doing this, emotionally and financially.

Actually I have been invited to an interview here in North Shields. Rotten timing, as we're meant to be leaving here for Nottingham before that post would even start.

I walked along the South Bank, from Waterloo, where Banksy and some of his cronies have taken over a taxi tunnel for their festival of stencilling termed the Cans Festival (see pictures below), to the Tate, where I only really had time to go to the shop and buy some things I'm sure I'll photograph and put up here at some point.

I then went over to see Caroline, lost track of time, and then legged it in a way I certainly wouldn't have managed a month ago, to my train. I arrived home at half two.

That was this week pretty much ruined then. I didn't manage to run on Thursday. I just managed a pretty decent run after work - 21 minutes, and 3.5 kilometres (although maybe it was less - the route is very jiggly in places).

I ran through the Town Moor, where the annual 'Hoppings' event - a big funfair - is taking place. I picked up speed when I saw a guy, who looked as though he had some form of learning disability, and his friend who appeared the type to egg vulnerable people on, walking towards the track I was running on, with an enormous metal mallet which they'd obviously nabbed from next to one of the tents. They had a look in their eye that seemed similar to the look you might expect in someone who was about to throw a hammer at an unfit jogger for the sheer crack of it.

A massive thank you must go to Lesley, for sponsoring me with absolutely impeccable timing. That was exactly the time I needed a boost! Thanks also to the recent anonymous donator.

Monday feels like Thursday

2008-06-16T14:02:00.000-07:00

It could be down to getting hardly any sleep last night, or it could be running two days on the trot for the first time (my knees hurt, and Angela, my ex-neighbour says I should watch out - you can buy new and better running shoes, but you can't buy new knees), but whatever it is, today has been dreadful. I've not done much preparation for Wednesday, I keep thinking it's Tuesday, I wish it were Thursday and it were all over. All I've really managed to do today is to fall asleep watching the end of 'Decision 79' - the 5 hour-long contemporaneous coverage of the election that put power in Thatcher's hands, which I recorded last week from BBC4. Just when you thought I could get no sadder!

There was so much smoking back then! Robin Day opened the programme with a cigar gesture, politicians finished their interview and turned to their pipes. You could look at a returning officer and you'd just know that he stank of smoke. I loved the sheer inaccuracy of it all - one result would come on the screen, and David Dimbleby, who did marvellously anchoring it all, would just read something completely different.

Today at school it was announced that there was a roundworm problem, on top of the perpetual headlice problem. The boy sat next to me at one point was scratching himself in a most unbecoming manner. I really didn't know what to do. And when you become aware of it, the amount of hand to mouth transfer in that room is just unbearable. They were told, and told, and told again about the life-cycle of the worm/egg, but they just couldn't keep their fingers out of their mouths. It was seriously grim.

Anyway, I did redeem myself somewhat with this morning's run - 15 minutes, quite solid, not fast, not too slow, just right.

Image-heavy post

2008-06-15T13:05:00.000-07:00

Perhaps the most exciting thing to have happened this weekend was my (entirely unplanned, I promise) attendance at the local Allotment Society's Open Day and Scarecrow-making Competition. Having been cancelled last weekend, ostensibly because of some drizzle, the expectation for today had obviously been ramped up considerably. Here is a picture of the throng awaiting a local radio presenter to present the awards.

Here I stumbled, not exactly fresh from my run. Amazingly, despite my red glow, my wheezing breathiness and the bare legs and the sweating like a rapist thing, the allotmenteers did not pick up their shovels and hoes and chase me away from their children. Indeed, I was all-but embraced into the warm, fuzzy breast of their community spirit. I know this because one elderly man said "Good turnout" to me. Another lady pointed out two frogs to me in a pond. How acknowledged I felt!

These two won awards:

The first of these won the child category (click to get the full effect). The second was my personal favourite of them all.

And this is an owl made out of plastic milk bottles:

My run was a complete shambling disaster. As you may recall, I had intended to go for a 30 minute run. I managed only half of this, as I chose today to run a route I had never tried, in a place I'd actually never been, which turned out to be beautiful:

but very hilly. I felt really nauseous and had to stop. What a terrible washout. I am not very fit at all, and I hang my head in shame. Tomorrow I have my first back to back run though.

Elsewhere this weekend, I had my hair cut in a formal manner for this week's dreaded interview, and Ian and I popped into the Baltic to see the new Nara exhibition, and to pick up whatever limited-edition goodies they might have. We ended up getting a couple of posters, which will grace walls of the living room of whatever form of accommodation we might next have, in Leicester, or Nottingham, or Melton Mowbray or wherever we end up living in August.

Here are some pictures I stole, contrary to the policies of the Baltic. And I only donated 50p for the exhibition guide, suggested donation ONE POUND. Have at you, Arts Council! That'll teach you to have amazing Japanese artists come and exhibit here!

I didn't get my job

2008-06-14T02:51:00.000-07:00

I had a long and complex round of feedback on Thursday from the lady who ran the Cambridge SLT department. I am very thankful to her. It is all much too depressing to go into. She thinks I present myself as being difficult to manage. She is probably right. Any other kind of presentation would be a lie. I would be difficult to manage in my current state of mind.

She said that I'm too confident, and I appear to believe I know the right way to do things, to the exclusion of any input from others. I told her that my confidence is really starting to ebb away. A lot of what she's feeding back is a result of all of my bluster, which comes from my desperation to get a job. I'm trying to show them I'm the best Speech Therapist in the world, and for a band 5 job, that is not what they want at all.

As the stakes get higher and higher (the new graduates start becoming serious competition about now), I am faced with the prospect that I need to relax more, and be more humble about my skills and knowledge - presenting myself as a learner rather than a do-er. It's very difficult to do.

On a rather happier note, I went with the school kids to the Angel of the North on Wednesday - they were having a trip on the 'Magic Bus'. It was extremely windy up there.

I did go for a run on Thursday (I'm writing this on Saturday). I repeated Tuesday's route, but managed it in 14 minutes rather than 16 minutes. I'm still running pretty slowly though, when it comes down to it. I'm planning on attempting a 30 minute run on Sunday. Yikes!

Ian's excellent news

2008-06-10T14:56:00.000-07:00

Is that he attended a job interview today in Nottingham, a relatively-secure-for-us one-year post, and he got the job, despite beating himself up horribly over some screw-ups. I guess I'm spoiling his news somewhat if he wanted to tell you in person. Sorry Ian. Not many people read this blog anyway.

Peter Wallace clearly does though! Wow, I've broken the £100 mark. Thanks so much for the sponsorship, and the poem. If I could ever douse myself in a poem at the end of a 21 kilometre run, that would certainly be the one to use.

Also thanks to Ami at work, who has given me real hard cash. I have to make sure I don't end up like Arthur Fowler with the Christmas Club money don't I! Except I have already declared it to justgiving as offline sponsorship, and they will come and get it off me I guess. I wonder if they use bailiffs. That would seem a bit heavy-handed.

Ricky's got me listening to random people's music collections over on muxtape.com. I'm currently listening to an excellent selection, I highly recommend the concept, even if it must be slightly illegal.

Allow me to inform you that today, as almost every day, I did two jobs, one in Social Services, and one in Education. At the school, the Nursery, Reception and Years 1 and 2 sat down for a pantomime (defining feature thereof: at least one 'it's behind you' moment). It was a version of Charlotte's Web. I didn't know the story. If anyone wants a rundown, I'll happily tell you it. It has a very sad ending, based on the fact that spiders don't live as long as pigs. Have I ruined it? After thirty minutes, the children, who up till then had needed only one or two hissed instructions to sit on their bottoms, began to get restless. When I turned to look at them, and focused out my eyes, they looked like a writhing, school hall-sized organism.

One child cried at the very beginning of the performance and had to be led out. I think he, like me, was finding the performance to be somewhat unbalanced, what with the wrenching oscillations in verisimilitude, between scenes of heart-rending depth and honesty, and scenes where people in animal suits do fart jokes.

I'm still waiting to hear back from Cambridge. It would be a good job to get, now I know that Ian has his job in the Midlands. I have worked out the travelling distance to Nottingham, but I won't write it here, since it would look desperately sad if I didn't get the job. I do have another silken thread to cling onto, to follow its glint out of this desperate cave of no job that I am currently in, and that's an interview in Whitechapel, next week. I have booked my train ticket. I guess I need to ask someone for somewhere to stay. Does anyone have an empty room? I can't see myself sleeping on a couch before my interview. I am very picky and hi-falutin now thanks to 4 years in the North.

With Ian going away, I got the chance to be lazy and undisciplined. This involved me eating a Domino's Pizza for dinner, and then feeling rather ill and unable to eat all of today. Resultantly, I was unable to run this morning, as I was bloated and dreadful inside. I did run this afternoon, after work. It wasn't a great run, but my left foot hurt less than usual.

I forgot to mention. I'm doing the Sunshine "Fun" Run here on the quayside in Newcastle on the 2nd of July. It's a 5k run. I've paid £15, and I have promised to earn £50 in sponsorship. Damn! All of these people I am becoming indebted to, and all this work I have to do to be able to achieve these milestones. I am a bit apprehensive.

You can follow me running live on my Nokia Sports tracker page, if you're up at 6:50 on Thursday. I've noticed I've been getting slower recently, so I will be trying to up the pace a bit on Thursday. Here is my route from today. I thought it quite attractive.

Brief Sunday update

2008-06-08T16:25:00.000-07:00

I didn't actually find out about the Cambridge job yet. I'm still a bit hopeful. No news is good news, and so forth.

Yesterday was a simple day, all we did of note was to go to the Newcastle Green Festival in Leazes Park. This is a yearly thing... a couple of small musical stages, some stalls where businesses like local solicitors 'David Gray' and the Co-op give out balloons which are designed to remind us how green they are, people talk about their organic box schemes, children do pottery and blacksmithing, a community choir sing 'Happy Together' in their socks and sandals. Is a picture beginning to form in your mind?

Here is a picture of a particularly ripe specimen enjoying his crusty musical feast:

There has been something of a schism in the Newcastle Green Festival community. This means that we are left with a situation which I will allow the big-hearted but under-funded organisers of this weekend's festival to describe:

Last year saw the biggest crowds, widest range of environmental activities and biggest bills ever! But the success of the event brought with it a major split in the group of event organisers.

Some people wanted to see the Festival fence off the site and carry out security checks at the entrances. But other organizers wanted the Festival to continue to be an open relaxed event. They also wanted the focus to be much more on the environmental message and for the Festival to be a major family-friendly event. The result was a split and two Festivals – Newcastle Green Gathering and Newcastle Community Green Festival.

Whether the enlightened among those living in Newcastle number enough to sustain two green festivals, one evil and one good, remains to be seen. Which will prevail? I think we all know, sadly.

I went for my run today. I was aiming for 25 minutes, but I only managed 23. Although this is the longest I've run for, and I'm ahead of my schedule, slightly, I'm not that pleased with myself, because I managed 3 kilometres today, and I ran that in 20 minutes last weekend. In my defence, it was very hot indeed. Here is the route I took:

Heroic Thursday run

2008-06-05T15:02:00.000-07:00

After an absolutely exhausting day yesterday, what with all that being interviewed, and sitting down on a train and everything, I very bravely got up dead dead early again and went on a run. Have I told you which bits of me are hurting yet? No?? Well, my dodgy knee is hurting somewhat, and my left foot is aching in a quite unprecedented manner. Leg chafe has not yet been an issue. I have a blister on my left foot from my interview shoes. If you do not donate, I will continue to moan!

[Please note, this route has come out as a load of nonsense, I actually ran a very sensible route. 16 minutes worth - my longest midweek run so far].

On the train back from my interview

2008-06-04T12:10:00.000-07:00

I'm using the free National Express wireless, my phone, and my bluetooth keyboard, and I'm comfy, having changed out of my suit, and taken off my shoes and put slippers on, with a coffee, a water, a sandwich, a copy of New Scientist that I was given at Newcastle station, and a warm glow which lasted up to the point where this boyish ticket inspector told me I would have to get off at York, and change onto a service running half an hour later, since that is the one I am actually reserved on. He made me feel like a criminal, and he was going up and down the carriage handing out his grim kind of corporate justice. What does it matter, this train is empty anyway? This country is doomed.

I guess I'll do it, but if he comes to supervise me off the train in any way whatsoever, I will remark 'you really are the king of this train aren't you', and if he gives me more of the same kind of smart answers he gave me earlier, I will say something even more sarcastic, not quite sure what yet.

I had a nice day actually, after my interview. I went around the beautiful King's College Chapel:

Then I went around the Fitzwilliam museum, in which I found some big-eyed dolls from Iraq which were a full 5000 years old:

The town itself was of course full of 'punting' students (although many have gone home), French tourists and un-helmeted cyclists.

The interview was stressful, of course. I was only relatively incoherent in my individual interview, although I did have to resort to using the adverb 'broadly' three times, when I realised I wasn't being very specific. Sometimes I was downright lucid. Hopefully they'll have been able to see that I was experienced enough for the post (a rotational adult post). I suppose it depends on what they thought of me, and what they thought of the competition.

I honestly didn't think much of the competition. They were more members of the clone army of prim and proper princesses of Speech Pathology, who seem to continually be getting jobs ahead of me. There were only 5 of us there (there were meant to be 8, they said) and they'd planned an Apprentice-style group task, where we had to design information sheets for carers of people who'd had a stroke. Our work was dreadful, fit only for the bin. I peppered the brainstorming we did with a few jokes, wry observations, slightly outré ideas. Perhaps I should have been more serious, I did try, but everyone else was so very straightforward and dull and it had the opposite effect on me. I suggested we elect a chair, and no-one seemed to think this was a good idea, and it kind of went downhill from there.

I'll find out by the end of the week, they said. They asked me two additional questions. Firstly, what was I doing between 1999 and 2002 (I explained that the NHS jobs system only lets you put 7 jobs in your working history, and that I was doing whatever I was doing), and they asked for a reference from a clinical supervisor I'd had on a placement. I hope my face didn't drop too much when they asked me this, because I had an awful time on my hospital placement, and scraped a pass. I can only hope the reference I'm given is equivocal.

I stayed in a sweet, elderly lady's cottage, which was fusty and dusty, and full of flock wallpaper. I couldn't really complain about it though - it cost only £18, with £6 going to Oxfam. She was very interesting. She told me that she'd known Syd Barrett (she'd asked if I was any relation of his), adding that she had been in the same class as him at school. Apparently he had always been a very interested and clever boy, but I guess that is obvious. She also told me that sometimes, when people in Cambridge become frail, or have a stroke, they get about town pushing a bike for support. Only in Cambridge, surely.

Going back somewhat further, on Tuesday I did indeed go for my G-shaped run (thanks for the sponsorship Glenn!). Here is proof, if proof be need be:

Still not a member of the Newcastle Running Club

2008-06-01T09:52:00.000-07:00

Ian and I have had a nice, relaxing weekend. On Saturday we got up late, had breakfast for lunch, and went to the Cumberland Arms to see Thomas Truax along with this lovely fellow we met called Jackie and his friend John. Thomas was fantastic - it's been about 4 years since me and Ian last saw him. I recognised some of the songs, and enjoyed some of the new ones.

Of course Thomas led us out on the obligatory trek around the building during 'Full moon over Wowtown', much to the bemusement of the families enjoying the pub's complimentary sun cream and the aged dogwalker, whose face was an absolute picture that I now realise I should have taken rather than attempt to describe.

Of the songs that were new to me, I particularly enjoyed 'Inside the Internet' and 'The Butterfly and the Entomologist'. I've put a video of the latter song below - it's not from the Newcastle gig though. When he did it for us, his eyes became distracted during the song by a very tiny flying bug. It was quite a special moment, but it sounds a bit dull and strange written down:

I also took a picture of him lying on the floor:

Afterwards, outside, we rather randomly (although the bearable bits of Newcastle are few and far between) met Mitali, a really funny girl who we know through the Newcastle couchsurfing group, who'd been encouraged along to see Thomas by her friend, whose name I didn't actually ask. This friend was a lot of fun, with a bit of a darting mind, probably because she'd been up for days with next to no sleep. She told me that she was a member of the Newcastle Running Club, and recommended I join. They meet and run on Tuesdays and Thursdays (usually my running days, according to my schedule), but sadly they run for 3 or 5 miles. I couldn't manage that at this stage.

My running still progresses. Today I managed 20 minutes, and while it wasn't exactly comfortable, it wasn't as bad as I remember 15 minutes being, when that was a step up. Once again you can see evidential proof that I did this run on my Nokia Sports Tracker page. Here's the route I took:

The next person to sponsor me, I will devise a route that will attempt to replicate the letter-form of the initial of your first name! Preferably people whose names begin with a, o, p, d etc - I don't want to be walking back home for ages. Vindictive, made up names such as Xerxes will be passed over.

Donations are never ignored though. Thank you very much James for your donation, it's really nice of you to think of me. It certainly helped me get out there today in the not-quite-driving-rain.

Now running with GPS

2008-05-29T13:42:00.000-07:00

This involves me clutching my phone in my hand while it records my vital data. Today's run (which I did after work, as I couldn't drag myself out of bed this morning) lasted just over 11 minutes, and now I know that I nearly cleared 2km. How trustworthy this all is is questionable though, as I'm sure I didn't run in such an oddly jagged line and through people's houses:

Anyway, you can look at the graphs and so on on my Nokia Sports Tracker page. Oh it's all so technological.

As I was saying to a friend earlier on, I don't know if the running is feeding the blogging, or the blogging is feeding the running. All I know is I continue to run. And feed! I still haven't lost any weight. Ian tells me I need to control my calories as well. Nice in theory, but it seems to me as though the running is making me hungrier than ever.

I got my car back from its MOT today. It cost me £370, which is not as bad as I was expecting. I made a bit of a fool of myself in the garage - I sounded really confused about the whole concept of getting one's car MOTd, and I walked off initially without taking the MOT certificate. I wonder why they didn't cotton on to this and call me back in to pay some more - I probably would have done whatever they said.

Some upstairs neighbours of ours, who have recently moved in, were hovering around the bushes outside our flats when I came in from work. They were trying to find their cat, Pepper, who they'd let out of the house for the very first time. Pepper looks exactly the same as Colin, except she is a slight and slender ladycat who can be picked up by her owner by the scruff of the neck like a purse without the slightest complaint while prosaic cat-owner-discussions are had.

Later on, Ian and I saw a mismatched couple from the other flats who were taking their rather moody cat for a walk on a lead. After seeing someone lose their cat, this actually looked like a good idea at the time.

Also arriving from work I had some good news - an invitation for an interview for a Neuro Rehab SLT job at Addenbrookes Hospital in Cambridge. Ian and I are both applying a little more widely afield now. We both are throwing quite a lot of crap to see what sticks. Hopefully this one will stick for me. I also made a phonecall to a trust up here in the North East who're advertising at the moment.

Chicken livers and rocket for tea. Am I dieting? It feels like it.

First proper midweek run

2008-05-27T10:23:00.000-07:00

I managed multiple raisings of my heart rate today, and I'm tired and quite pleased with myself. I woke at just before my alarm at 6am - I had a dream (or was it) that someone was 'rapping' on our front door very hard. Perhaps it was an intervention to get me out of bed, since I'd had only a couple of hours sleep, and I was surely going to turn over my alarm. Although believing such things would have me look rather mad.

Anyhow, I ran for 10 minutes, came back and had a muffin (there was some fruit in the muffin, in my defence) and then cycled to work for the first time. Hills that I haven't noticed myself accelerate to clear in the hundreds of times I've driven up that road, I laboured over like a shaky old man, the type you might point at and say - 'he may as well get off and push'.

I'm cycling in again tomorrow, as my car's still not fixed. Maybe I'll change gear this time.

Yesterday Ian and I met with Kat, Tor and Dionne and her array of cousins for the Evolution Festival, down on the dockside at NewcastleGateshead (a single, river-spanning tourist destination to rival Budapest, or so the council hacks would have you believe).

We went to the dancier stage on the Gateshead side, populated by the likes of 'Does it Offend you, yeah?' (answer - no. Totally, totally inoffensive and bland), 'New Young Pony Club' (they covered PJ Harvey's Dress - joy!), 'Crystal Castles' (feted by Rough Trade, but Ian and I ignored this and went for tapas. Apparently the best band of the day, although they only played three songs), 'Hercules and Love Affair' (what a scam - no Anthony - and what a dull band anyway), 'CSS' (headlining - we left early to miss the hordes of disappointed people). All of these bands had half arsed beats, and half arsed songwriting, and sadly the wind was whipping up the Tyne and washing whatever good intentions and sparse ideas that the bands might have had with it. I wish I'd gone to the other side to watch the Streets.

Here's a naff picture I took as we were leaving.

Thanks very much to Steven and to the cheeky anonymous person who kindly donated money. Nine percent - not bad! I need all the support I can get. It hurts it hurts!

Second Run - Essentially the same as the first

2008-05-25T16:13:00.000-07:00

Albeit, marginally longer at 15 minutes. The panting was still a feature, but at least this time I didn't have to run past any impressionable children as I did on Thursday. While the run was essentially encouraging, my breakfast - Kentucky Fried Chicken, was not particularly well advised, and Ian and I actually felt somewhat drugged afterwards.

A multitude of dull things were accomplished. I bought another bag of cat food for the cat. We'd been trying to get him on to the cheap stuff but he was starving himself, crying and hating us for it, so we had to go with the real deal. Why have we made our cat so fussy? Ian and I created a menu for the week (it saves us money!), turned it into a shopping list (which I lost and we had to recover from our memories) which we bought at Netto and Tesco. I told you this was dull.

I also got my bike fixed for £5 up the road - they pulled a thorn out of the tyre, changed the inner tube for me, and stopped the embarrassing brake-squeal. Since my car's taking its time to come back from its service (Wednesday as it stands) I will need it to get to work next week. I'm thankful that it's half term and I won't have to cycle to Walker every day.

Ian, Caroline and me went to see the remarkable Felice Brothers last night, at a packed Cluny. They were rip-roaring, barnstorming, marvellous - - seemingly having no trouble dealing with their tiredness at having been up for more than 24 hours to get to Newcastle. I heard two separate people (or maybe the same person putting on accents) saying that they sounded like The Band, 40 years ago.

I liked them alot. I loved the way that they were constantly throwing things at each other and trying to kick one another during songs. I bet the Everley Brothers never did that. Take a look at a video of them doing a song where they spare one another:

The singer has a marvellous voice - the sort that doesn't come round all that often. He shared a moment with my friend Caroline, where he asked her her name, and played her request for her. Not quite as good as when Regina Spektor stopped a song to say 'bless you' to me from the other side of the arena (it was a good sneeze), but not bad all the same.

Thanks to Will, who's my first donator. Good on you!

First run horror

2008-05-22T08:21:00.000-07:00

In this spirit of being utterly honest about how much work I have to do, here is a picture of me wearing all white (something I never do), which goes some way to demonstrating how much work I have to do before October. I have covered my modesty somewhat with a copy of my training schedule.

The run itself was okay - I tried to avoid the gaze of others as I jiggled around the streets around my house. I was gasping in a most unseemly manner towards the end of this 10 minute run. According to the schedule it should be followed by two full rest days, to ease myself into this. Sounds okay to me.

The rest of the day was relatively agonising, but I should imagine that tomorrow morning will be substantially worse, for me, and no doubt for those around me.

In other news, my car is going to cost more than £400 pounds to get through its MOT (again), and I still don't have a job as a speech therapist. They won't be able to turn down a svelte Neil Barrett though come the autumn!

Caroline is coming this weekend, we'll be watching a band, and it's also bank holiday weekend. I plan to put my bike back on the road and do some supplementary exercise in that manner. Sorry this post is so long.

Bit of background

2008-05-21T07:51:00.000-07:00

I am currently heavier (read 'fatter') than I've ever been, and I know it needs fixing. Often when people settle into comfortable, secure relationships, they put on weight, and this has certainly happened in my case. I simply quite like cake, and all of its brothers and cousins on the food pyramid. Add on to that the fact that I have never really weighed the right amount, and you can see that I was adding problem onto problem.

A couple of years back, I went to the gym solidly for around a month, and I went down to 12/13 stone. I'm now well above that (15 stone, and with a body shape that scares children). This is why I responded to a request from Newcastle University for subjects to take part in a study to see whether physical activity improved a persons metabolism. I thought, that sounds a bit obvious - there must be more to this. I presumed that gym memberships were being given out as a part of this, and I went ahead with the series of little tests last weekend.

This involved:

Sitting in a sealed egg-shaped compartment to have the volume of my body measured
A fasting glucose blood test
Exercising with tubes coming out of my arm and my mouth
Sitting down for 30 minutes. I got my heart rate as low as 47bpm when I concentrated on it. They said that it was good - that it implied that I had a "big heart"

No gym memberships, it's all to be done on the streets of Newcastle. What's going on is that I have been entered in the group that has been given places on the Great North Run, which is taking place on the 5th of October.

I have been given a pretty complete training schedule (see my planner on the right), and I am very determined to stick to it. I have even paid to enrol myself on the Great Yorkshire Run on the 7th of September, which is not as great as the Great North Run, as it is only (only!) 10 kilometres.

So please feel free to monitor my progress, and please donate if you feel I, and the millions of people all over the world who lack access to clean water, deserve it.